On Parenting M, learning from him and from his teachers !

Situation 1 : J and M were watching a few bees buzz around flowers and thus the conversation :

M  : Daddy see the bees on the flowers..

J : Yes, M – the bees are collecting honey from the flowers.

M : No Daddy – The bees aren’t collecting honey – they are collecting “NECTAR” !!!

M as a matter of fact said the correct word and stunned J.

Situation 2 : There are a lot of snails in our backyard garden. M and I were observing the snails. They are off different varieties – Shelled ones…Non-Shelled elongated ones….

S : M watch this snail (Pointing to a non-shelled Snail)

M : No Mummy, It’s not called a snail – It’s called a SLUG. A snail without a shell is called a Slug and the one with a shell is called a Snail.

S : Oh is it ? ( Heard the word “SLUG” for the first time in my life and had just been enlightened to it’s meaning by my soon to be 5 year old)

Opened Wikipedia and found it was true – “Snail-like animals that naturally lack a shell, or have only an internal shell, are usually called slugs ” Wiki – link

J and I cannot believe that we have reached the stage of using wiki’s help to enlighten us about the facts that our little one already knows – even before he has hit the ripe age of 5.

Situation 3 : The water level in M’s water bottle that is being sent to school has remained the same level as it is sent in the mornings. Which means not even 1 drop of water is consumed by M from 8.50am to 3.15pm , though his packed lunch is consumed. He recently had a serious bout of constipation and I have increased his fruit and veggie intake. My efforts are being proven senseless as his water consumption in school is almost nil. I was upset just as what most mothers would do.

I blackmailed him saying that if he didn’t drink water at school the next day I would cut is screen time, Cartoon time. No effect…

I tried to bribe him saying he will get chocolates the day his water has been consumed….No effect….

I tried imposing scoldings and said things like I won’t be his friend….and I won’t like him anymore…still no effect…. the water bottle came back at the same level I had sent it that morning…..

I had tried all that I could…and discussed it with J. J suggested I inform his teacher, so she reminds him to sip his water frequently…

I met his teacher that evening and showed her the water level that was full and explained that not a sip has been consumed the entire day…I was surprised at M’s teachers behaviour instead of reassuring me that she would take care and remind M about drinking water (my expectation). She called out to M who was playing with his friends. M came over. She bent down to his level and started explaining the consequences of not drinking water in M’s level of understanding. She talked about how our bodies are made up of mostly of water and when we don’t drink water how our bodies starve and how the brain doesn’t get energy to think and act smart…she spoke of how it was going to make us tired and how it was going to affect our excretion. I stood there failing as a mother, again ! Remember the first time, when M cried for the red balloon, and his teacher took over.

Why didn’t I think of explaining the consequences of not drinking water to M ?

Why didn’t I communicate to my own child about the benefits and make him understand as why I’m worried ?

Instead, I tried to get a solution to my worry from my child by blackmailing him and bribing him and scolding him…!!!

I felt a failure as his mother ! What I should have done as his mom, his teacher was doing it when I escalated the issue. Why didn’t it occur to me ?

Another parenting lesson learnt from M’s teacher 🙂